You can't take care of your finances without taking care of your relationships

Many people talk openly about their sex lives and other intimacies, or even the most scatological topics. But ask about their income… Or worse… how they spend their money… if we even remember or know at the end of the month how or where it was spent. Uncomfortable, right?

In my opinion, for a few reasons: We feel guilt, shame, and even fear when the subject is money. But the main one is here:

The way we deal with money lays bare our irrationality.

It reveals a lot of vulnerability and fragility, while we try to appear strong and rational. There's a lot of sensitivity on the inside for too little humanity on the outside. Fear of making mistakes, fear of not coping, fear of being fragile, of appearing vulnerable. Fear of being who we already are and pretending the opposite.

Dr. Gerald Jampolsky used to say there are only 2 ways to communicate (express, exist): with love or with fear. And I understand that whenever we wear a mask, fear is guiding us. But if we shed it, if we want to relate with love, only what is genuine and authentic fits, thisconnects us as humans, beyond right or wrong, better or worse, good or bad.

So it's worth reflecting: in my relationships, do I truly feel comfortable talking about everything?

How much have I been able to express my truth in the spaces and relationships I have? Do I have emotional intimacy?

• Being "poorer," can I talk about my concerns without seeming like I'm asking for something?

• Do I feel ashamed to decline an invitation due to lack of money?

• Do I fear judgment?

• Being "richer," do I feel comfortable talking about achievements without feeling guilty?

• Do I avoid certain topics (e.g., travel) for fear of hurting the other person?

• Do I have resentments or suspicions related to envy?

We weren't taught to talk openly about money, but doing so is an exercise of our humanity, besides being very strategic for our pockets. We can't take care of what we ignore.

Can you be honest about “I don't have money to go out” and talk about it? Or do you just stay silent and invent an excuse not to go? Do you feel comfortable suggesting another place or outing? Or worse, do you go even if you can't afford it, because that's a problem for your “tomorrow's self”?

Perhaps you realize you lack emotional security in relationships. But how muchyouhave opened that space?When I bring humanity to conversations, I open up that space for people to share more about themselves as well.There's always time to start :)

A simple example to start practicing is when someone asks you for money on the street: what do you answer? Pay attention next time… if it's something like “I don't have it,” “I can't,” “I'll owe you”... is it really true that you can't, don't have it, or will owe them? Probably not. And I'm not saying you should give money, but we can start rehearsing our truth in these small moments and just say “not today.” If you try this, tell me how it went for you?

Thank you very much and see you next week!