The Price of Fragile Vulnerability

It is denying or rejecting our vulnerabilities that makes us fragile. And poorer too.

I really liked the definition of fragile masculinity onEcycle's website: “Fragile masculinity is the anxiety a man feels when he believes he is distancing himself from what society defines as standards of masculinity. This feeling can motivate the person to engage in compensatory attitudes and actions, which aim to restore ‘true’ masculine actions.”

Therefore, I consider “fragile vulnerability” to be the anxiety we feel when we believe we are distancing ourselves from what society defines asstandards of strength and resilience. This feeling can motivate the person to engage in compensatory attitudes and actions, which aim to restore the ‘true’ actions of “strong” and “resilient” people.

And why can this be expensive?

Because it's only when I admit that I'm not doing well, that I'm more fragile or vulnerable, that I can do something about it. It's necessary to recognize in order to address. To offer presence. To find the courage to look inward.

I've already mentioned in previous articles the importance of namingfeelingsandneeds. But first, it's necessary to make oneself vulnerable. While I try to prove that I'm strong and that “everything is fine,” I tend to“patch holes” with things that money can buy, but don't solve the problem. And this dynamic can be very expensive.

The day you're late, feel unwell, or insecure, is not a good time to make a decision. Much less to take on debt, because you are vulnerable. So pay close attention on days of greater vulnerability and to all stimuli that might trigger you, remember: THE DISCOUNT IS BIGGER WHEN I DON'T BUY. And maybe tomorrow I won't even need what I want now.

As Guimarães Rosa once said: "what life wants from us is courage".

We don't need an internal inspector or enemy to "control" us when we know what we need. And we will only know by assuming that something is strange in this relationship with ourselves and with money.

Sometimes we just want to order delivery and drown ourselves in the tastiest food possible. But perhaps what we really needed was to call and talk to someone.This is the difference between the expensive “patching holes” and the more strategic option (which costs zero reais). Emotional and financial intelligence go hand in hand… but that's a topic for a future article.

Thank you very much and see you next week!