What I don't need, even if cheap, is expensive
A phrase adapted from Marshall Rosenberg, the "father" of NVC - Nonviolent Communication: "Violence is a tragic expression of an unmet need." What is most important to you, and what strategies have you been using to nourish all of this?
Consumerism is a tragic response to an unmet need
A phrase adapted from Marshall Rosenberg, the “father” of NVC - Nonviolent Communication: “Violence is a tragic expression of an unmet need.”
What is most important to you, and what strategies have you been using to nourish all of this?
According to Nonviolent Communication,despite being unique individuals, our needs are universal.They are:
Autonomy - Inspiration - Honesty - Order - Authenticity - Leisure - Integrity - Joy - Presence - Fun - Choice - Belonging - Freedom - Cooperation - Space - Communication - Spontaneity - Interdependence - Expression - Commitment - Meaning - Coherence - Understanding - Recognition - Celebration - Respect - Clarity - Security - Contribution - Stability - Sense - Support - Grief - Support - Inspiration - Affection - Achievement - Comfort - Evolution - Trust - Hope - Sustainability - Learning - Protection - Love - Peace - Discovery - Beauty - Creativity - Communion - Appreciation - Well-being - Growth - Equity - Connection - Harmony - Empathy - Acceptance - etc
We want the same things. What changes are the strategies we use to meet our needs.
And money in this story?
Since we want the same things and what changes are the strategies, for each choice made, money may be more or less necessary.
Often, dissatisfaction comes even when doing a lot, consuming a lot, earning a lot of money.
Because often we don't understand the real need behind what we do or consume: How does that thing or action serve me? And then we do more and consume more, because all of this doesn't always nourish what's truly most important. And we live tired and/or indebted.
“What I don't need, even if cheap, is expensive.”And I only understood this phrase when I learned to look at my real needs. It's easier to assume that we "need" various things than to investigate their true meaning.
And you?What is most important to you now?If the answer is a "thing," that's just one of the possible strategies to meet a deeper need.
Shall we use the list above to investigate?
Knowing what we truly need liberates us, because it opens up a universe of possible strategies. We sabotage ourselves because our strategies "disguise" themselves as needs - "I NE-ED new shoes" - and we lose sight of what that is trying to tell us about ourselves.
You might even think you deserve new shoes. But what do new shoes do for your self-esteem? Perhaps the effect fades even before they get from the store to our closet. It's too many full closets for too few people with healthy self-esteem. Too many expensive - crowded - restaurants for so many people there who are not necessarily nourishing the need for joy, fun, expression, belonging, or authenticity, for example.
Not everything you do will nourish multiple needs at the same time, but it's important to know the VALUE for you of the PRICE you are paying. Because it costs a lot not to know what truly makes your days better.
Thank you very much and see you next week!