What is the price of the stories you've been telling yourself?
The first pillar of NVC is observation. In this text, I summarize the 4 pillars and today I will detail the first one, bringing a reflection on its importance in our relationship with money.
Is that right?
The first pillar of NVC isobservation.In this textI summarize the 4 pillars and today I will detail the first one, bringing a reflection on its importance in our relationship with money.
Observation, which separates facts from interpretations, helps identify what actually happened and what stories I am telling myself. What is true here and what is the “smoke of opinions” that distances me from the facts, from myself, and from others. One of the tools used is checking, to ensure that I understood what happened or was said and that the other person understood what I actually said. It gives us the chance to ensure that we are starting from the same point for a conversation, and that we don't get lost in interpretations throughout the process.
And money in this story?
Fact: “I was welcomed at the store with champagne and chocolate”
Interpretation: “I am special”
Fact: “I have 50 reais to go out today”
Interpretation: “If I say I can't go to that restaurant today, they'll think I'm broke, a failure”
Fact: “My monthly budget is 3 thousand reais”
Interpretation: “I am poor”
We tell ourselves stories all the time, because it's natural for humans to judge or interpret, and that's not wrong. But it's important to separate things to bring more clarity to situations, take us out of autopilot, and connect us to what's important there.
I can just have 50 reais and suggest a pizza instead of the expensive restaurant. If, to belong and feel loved, I HAVE TO frequent X place and wear Y clothes, maybe I need to address my needs for security and self-esteem even before wanting more money.
What stories have you been telling yourself to justify your recent expenses?
Do you want health or to frequent the most expensive gym?
Do you really want to be with friends or post that famous chef's dish on Instagram?
I won't stop judging, but I've learned to look at my judgments and understand that they say more about me than about the things I judge around me.
Thank you very much and see you next week!